= Bride =Both
= Groom = Worksheet

Guest list and invitations 

You should begin by setting an upper limit on the number of guests you can afford and/or accommodate at the wedding and/or reception.

The hardest part is deciding where to draw the line; who cannot be invited to the wedding. One particularly sensitive area is whether children should be invited. The bride and groom should be able to discuss this and come to a compromise if not an agreement. Weddings are not the time or place to show off grandchildren. Most children become tired, bored and fussy at weddings, and it is in the best interest of the children and the guests to provide a baby-sitter at both the ceremony location and the reception location if children are included. This will permit parents to easily remove children who become a problem without having to leave themselves. If children are not included in the guest list, arrangements must be made for out of town guests who must bring children with them. If guests arrive with children who were not included in the guest list, the ushers may seat those families near the rear in order that they may quietly leave if it becomes necessary. By tradition, the bride's family ultimately has the final decision as to whether children should be included, and the groom's family should abide by these wishes.

Parents should be given the opportunity to invite their friends, but when space and/or funds are limited, the bride and groom's list should take priority even though the bride's parents may be footing the bill.

If the groom's family wishes to invite more than the allotted number, it is permissible to offer to pay for the additional cost; however, the groom's parents should make very effort to abide by the limit set by the bride's family.

If the guest list must be limited, you could agree on only immediate family members and close friends. Business associates, neighbors, etc. may be eliminated from limited guest lists.

The bride, the groom, and both sets of parents should make up lists of guests to be invited. From these four lists, one master list should be drawn (eliminating duplications) to determine the exact number of invitations needed. An extra 10-25 invitations should be ordered for emergencies. An extra 25 is far less expensive than reordering. 

Invitations should also be sent to the wedding official and spouse, members of the wedding party and their dates/spouses and their parents (if space permits), and members of the groom's family. To invite the friend of a single guest, it is more courteous not to write "and escort", but to ask the name of the friend and send a separate invitation.

The groom's mother should be given two or three unsealed invitations as mementos, and should be told when the invitations will be mailed. All invitations should be mailed at the same time, as some people would be hurt if their invitation arrived several days later than an acquaintance's - they may feel they were an after thought.

The bride may address all the invitations, or she may enlist the aid of the groom, her bridesmaids or others. Invitations should be hand addressed, and some brides have an "invitation addressing party" with all available attendants helping. The bride can pay someone to address the invitations, and calligraphy is often used.

Security personnel  <<  Previous chapter  Next chapter  >>  Writing invitations  

Worksheets available (click on the blue arrow to the right of the file to download it below)
 GuestListB.xls = Bride's guest list / gift record
 GuestListG.xls = Groom's guest list / gift record

Edna S,
Aug 20, 2013, 4:00 PM
Edna S,
Aug 20, 2013, 4:01 PM