= Bride =Both
= Groom = Worksheet

Wedding Director 

The wedding director is one of the most important people at your wedding. The job of director requires little training, but the person must possess lots of organizational skills, tact, and common sense, and be unshakeable. This should be a person with whom you can be comfortable and easily discuss all plans, and one in whom you can place all trust to make your wedding day at least APPEAR to run smoothly.

The wedding director/coordinator can organize the wedding, help with the entire planning process, orchestrate the wedding party, and insure the bride is worry free on her wedding day, or it can be someone who only tells the wedding party when to enter the church for the ceremony, where to stand, when to leave, etc. It is up to the bride to decide how involved she wants a director to be.

Some pastors act as the director as far as coordinating the ceremony and wedding party, some churches require you to hire their director, some bridal shops provide directors, directors may be independently hired, or no director used (just wing it).

There can be conflicts between all the people providing services for the wedding unless you make your wishes known to all parties. The director may feel it is not wise to take formal photos before the wedding, but your photographer may feel it is the most efficient use of time...discuss the reasons for their thoughts and make your own decision...just be sure to tell them of your decision. The director may feel that no one should be in the room while the bride is getting ready, and you may want all of your friends to peek in to say hello, or your director may be busy doing other things when you feel she should be isolating you...COMMUNICATE.

Determine if you want a director who will do everything from pinning on corsages to telling you when to throw the bouquet and leave, or if you want someone to simply stand in the vestibule and orchestrate the wedding party. No matter what you expect of the director, be sure to make your wishes known in advance.

There is no hard and fast rule to how the bridal party enters, leaves, or where they stand; if you have a preference, let the director know what you want.

If you are not comfortable with your initial discussion, then consider another director. Some directors feel strongly that they should make all decisions and may intimidate you into doing things their way, even though it may not be what you want. THIS IS YOUR DAY AND YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT (within the rules of the church/building and society). Rather than having any unpleasantness on your wedding day, be sure you and your director are in complete agreement. Discuss everything beforehand, and do not accept such answers as "it's always done that way" or "it just is not done". Ask who made the rule and more importantly why.

If the church provides a director (either paid or volunteer), you may find he/she is more concerned with enforcing the rules of the church than in making the day a day of joy for you. Although many church directors really love brides and weddings, and are a real asset, they may be available only for the ceremony. You must decide just what services you want your director to provide, and you must meet with the director to determine compatability. If you are not comfortable, or if you are unable to meet with the director, then consider hiring an independent director as well, or ask a friend to serve as director. This person can act as go-between.

Whether your director is a paid professional, a church volunteer, or a drafted friend/relative, he/she should be able to answer questions as they arise on the wedding day without involving you. You and the director should discuss minute details of the day, and make all decisions long before the wedding day.

It is permissible to use a church director or paid director to simply orchestrate the ceremony itself (who goes in when, who stands where, etc.) And then to have a friend/relative who is calm under pressure to act as the wedding coordinator. This person is your "alter-ego", and will remind you when to do everything based on your decisions. 

Flowers and decorations  <<  Previous chapter  Next chapter  >>  Music  

Worksheets available (click on the blue arrow to the right of the file to download it below)
 Director.xls = Wedding director/coordinator

Edna S,
Aug 16, 2013, 12:25 PM